keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
