I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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