dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
