I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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