Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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