singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
