i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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