what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
