Who did Billy Mays play for?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
