he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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