girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
