no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
