i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
