Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
