it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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