she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Still dying that you shit outside
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
