I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
