i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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