you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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