He uses pillows to masturbate.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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