What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Randomize
