He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
