I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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