I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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