i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
