How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
