What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
