Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
