I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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