You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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