My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Why did my mother make you get naked?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
