Where did you get a picture of my penis
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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