I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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