Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
