so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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