We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
