well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
