like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
