Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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