I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
