She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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