It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
