how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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