Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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