when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
