I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
