pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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