Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
