Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
only you would photoshop your dick
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
