I can't watch pbs sober anymore
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
