if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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