Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
