I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Fuck appropriateness.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
