Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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