sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
